Anything Goes
by Shrilanka-San
Summary: ONE SHOT It's just an averaged day in Domino High...UNTIL THE GENRE KEEPS SWITCHING! See such horrors as Tea's long lost twin, the nearperfect crime, and...THE ATTACK OF THE EVIL LUNCH FOOD! And that's the noncrazy bits! Read and find out!


Have I mentioned that I'm insane? And that I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh? Well…it's true.

Hello everybody! Nope, it happened again! ANOTHER ONE-SHOT! Yes, I feel like scaring a couple of young minds today, so here, for the very first time, we're going to do everything at once! It's just a normal school day at Domino High…UNTIL THE STORY SUDDENLY STARTS CHANGING GENRES FOR EVERY DIFFERENT CLASS! Yep, here we go again…oh the insanity…this is a weird idea, so forgive me if it scrubs…

**ANYTHING GOES**

"Our story begins in the wonderful land of…Domino City," said the narrator to this story, standing outside of the school, "where it seems like a normal day, with the sun rising, and the paper boy getting hit by a dump truck and what not. No one suspected, that on this day, in the local school, Domino High, that something very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very strange was going to take place. No one had seen anything this strange since the great Mary Sue drive of 1978. And it started when…"

"Hi everyone!" said Yugi, skipping happily into homeroom to find his three best friend in the whole wide world. "Anything happening in school today?"

"OH MY GOD! THERE'S A BOMB IN MY DESK AND IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE IN TEN SECONDS!" screamed Tristan at the top of his lungs, pointing to his desk. Without a split second hesitation, Joey and Tea grabbed the desk, ran to the window in a dramatic, slow motion scene, and threw it threw the closed window. With the sound of glass shattering, the desk soared forty feet in mid-air, then exploded in a brilliant flash of light and a humongous boom, shaking all of the desks.

"Wow…" said Yugi, staring in disbelief at what just happened, as bits of the desk rained on the teacher's parking lot bellow. "That was weird."

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE!" screamed the homeroom teacher, rushing into the classroom, holding out a machine gun. "THIS IS A STICK-UP! DON'T ANYBODY MOVE!"

Everyone in the homeroom instinctively put their hands up in the air.

"Right…here's how things are gonna work…" said the teacher evilly. "Everyone…must hand over…all of your black pens. NOT BLUE! I can't stand blue…it's sickening. NOT RED! NOT THOSE FILTHY GEL PENS! NICE, BLACK PENS! NOW!"

"Alright, said Tea, slowly walking over, with a black pen, a blank and horrified expression on her face. But before the teacher got a chance to take the pen from her, she pulled off a fantastic karate move, throwing the teacher over her shoulder, as Tristan pinned him down. Just then, a bunch of police officers ran into the room, handcuffing the teacher, and rushing over to shake Tea, Joey, and Tristan's hands.

"We couldn't do it without you guys," said the head police officer.

"No problem officer," said Tristan, as he, Joey, and Tea ran up to the window, and jumped out, performing fantastic sky-diving moves.

Yugi left the room right after the bell, not bothering to hear the announcements.

"What you have just seen is a natural phenomenon in modern fan fiction that we narrators like to call 'Jimmy', but is actually called 'Genre Switching'," said the narrator, standing outside of Yugi's homeroom. "These happening as so incredibly rare, that most of modern science thinks it to be a myth. But now, for the first time, we have in writing, an actual occurrence of Jimmy-ah, Genre Switching. This is-"

But before the narrator could say anything else, he was run down by a herd of students heading off to their classes.

**FIRST PERIOD: EARTH SCIENCE  
****Genre Switched to: Drama**

"Yay! Earth Science!" said Ryo happily, sitting down in his assigned seat next to Joey, which was a very good thing, because Joey had a tendency to fall asleep when the teacher started ranting about common minerals of the area, so it was kind of Ryo's job to poke him awake, as the teacher turned the easy-pro on. "I can't wait! Today we're going to learn about topographies!"

Just then, Joey walked into the classroom, careworn and unhappy, looking like he was on the verge of tears. His hair was even more of a mess, which is saying something if you ask me, and he was noticeably pale and shaky. His uniform was a mess, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"JOEY!" Ryo cried in horror. "What happened? You look, absolutely terrible!"

"I…I'm sorry Ryo…" Joey croaked painfully. "It's just that…me and my Dad's rent is due tomorrow and…none of us have the money, so if we don't think of something…we're going to be thrown out. I don't know what to do!"

Joey threw his head on the desk and began openly sobbing. Ryo had no clue what to do either. He tried putting his hand on Joey's shoulder, but Joey let out a strangled sob of frustration, and Ryo quickly drew it back.

_I thought this was going to be a comedy fic,_ he thought.

"Joey, I…couldn't help but, ahem, hear you're problem," Seto said awkwardly, walking up to Joey. "So I was thinking…I mean…OH I CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE! Joey, I'll give you the money! I can't stand it! I'm tired of hating everyone! It's destroying my soul! So right now…I'm…I'm going to change! I promise!"

"Kaiba…" Joey started.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! CALL ME SETO! THE NAME MY PARENTS GAVE ME!" cried Seto dramatically.

"I'm sorry for misjudging you for all these years!" cried Joey, his eyes brimming with happiness. "Let's be best friends forever!"

"OKAY!" said Seto, and they both hugged. Ryo's jaw hit the floor, and the teacher kept on teaching.

"NO!" screamed Tea at the top of her lungs, making Ryo's head spin to the back of the room to where Tea was, looking flustered as well. "I won't take that Broadway role! I don't care if the director was moved to tears by my audition! I'll never go until I find my long lost twin brother!"

"I didn't know you had a brother," said Ryo curiously.

"OH MY GOD!" Tea cried, pointing to Ryo. "THAT'S HIM! HE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME! IT HAS TO BE HIM!"

"I don't look a thing like you!" said Ryo, but Tea dragged him back to sit next to her.

"I can't believe it finally happened!" said Tea, kicking Yugi out of the sit next to her and slamming Ryo down in it. "How I searched for you…how I longed for you…my long lost twin brother! And now…we'll never be apart!"

"I'm not related to you!" Ryo said. "We're not even the same nationality!"

"And still you deny it!" said Tea, pulling Ryo right up next to her body in a warm hug. "I'll prove it to you! I promise I will!"

"It's okay!" said Yugi, suddenly standing up in a lab coat. "I'm a license DNA inspector!"

Tea tugged out a strand of Ryo's hair, as well as her own.

"Great! I'll let you know in two seconds!" said Yugi, as there was a two second silence. "YEP! You're related!"

"WHAT?" Ryo cried.

"IT'S TERRIBLE!" said Duke, limping into the classroom. "My mother's ring! Someone stole my mother's ring! I GOT MUGGED AND THEY STOLE MY MOTHER'S RING!"

"Did it have a diamond and two tiny emeralds?" said Joey.

"Y-yes…" Duke said, tears streaming down his face.

"I bought it off Tristan!" said Joey, pulling Duke's Mom's ring out of his pants.

"MY MOTHER'S RING!" screamed Duke, running up to Joey. "Joey…I LOVE YOU!"

"Now we can _all _be best friends!" said Seto happily, as all three participated in a group hug.

The bell than rang, and Ryo ran out of the classroom screaming.

"Yes, that was rather horrifying, wasn't it?" said the narrator as Ryo ran past, with his pants missing and with his Mickey Mouse boxer shorts showing. "But little did our heroes know that that was the least of their troubles, for the worst was yet to come…"

**PERIOD TWO: GYM CLASS  
****Genre Switched to: Sci-Fi**

"ALRIGHT!" said the incredibly mean Gym teacher to his students, which included Tea, Tristan, Joey, and Yugi, who all looked humiliated in their gym uniforms, all of them wishing they were somewhere else. "TODAY, WE ARE GOING TO BE PLAYING EXTREME RUGBY!"

Everyone groaned.

"And none of this sissy 'protective gear' nonsense!" said the Gym Teacher, walking up and down the aisles in a menacing fashion. "I'm going to see all of you out there, getting pounded to bacon mist by your fellow students, and if any of you stumble, you shall be BEATEN UP! If any of you flinch, you shall be BEATEN UP! If any of you cry or start bleeding, you shall be PUBLICLY EXECUTED! Got that meat?"

Everyone nodded dumbly.

"Now get up against the wall so I can explain the rules!" said the teacher. "COME ON! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

Everyone grumbled and shuffled over to the other end of the gymnasium, standing up against the wall to hear the instructions. Just as they were about to breath a little easier, the Gym teacher pressed a huge, red button on a control that he held in his hand.

At that moment, a bunch of restraints suddenly whipped out from the wall, chaining all the students to it, throwing them back until they were trapped, one restraint around their neck, one around their middle, and the other around their ankles each.

"Oh man, this is bad," said Tristan. "The last time we got strung up like this, I broke my arm when we actually played the game."

"Now I have you!" said the Gym teacher, pulling off a facial mask, to reveal that he was a big eyed, green skin, pimply, oozing, pulsing alien, his voice also turned into a very weird squeaky techno sound. "You pathetic carbon-based life forms are too foolish to see that that was clearly a trap!"

"Well, Joey is, if that's what you're implying," said Tea.

"SILENCE EARTH FEMALE!" said the alien thing. "Seeing now that your race has nothing to offer in intelligence, technological advancements, or decent fashion styles, we shall mercy kill all life forms on this planet, after performing many dangerous and highly unethical bio-experiments! Then we shall destroy this entire solar system, as well as every life form in the universe, so we shall have no competition ever again!"

The alien pushed another button on his control panel, and the wall across from them opened up like doors, and then, an army of seven foot tall, fully armed robots, one for each student chained to the wall, walked out, and raised their plasma canons at the students.

"The first experiment on you specimens will see how your watery little bodies can stand up to ninety thousand volts of electricity," said the alien.

"OH! ME FIRST! ME FIRST!" said Joey.

"Joey! This is no time to be stupid!" said Yugi, desperately trying to struggle from his restraints. "I…have…to get…free…"

That's when he realized he was so small, he could just duck down out of the middle restraint and step out of the bottom, considering the neck restraint was much to high (let's face it, he's a short kid). So with that, he squeezed through and hopped out. And conveniently turned to his dreaded, kick butt alter ego, Yami-Yugi.

"Alright alien scum!" said Yugi. "I won't let you hurt my friends! So now, you must face me in a game of…CANDYLAND!"

"I will not humiliate myself in public!" said the alien.

"CHICKEN!" Yami said, clucking and making his arms into wings and flapping them around in a taunting gesture. But that's when the bell rang.

"Oh dang, it's a documentary next period," said the alien. "Do you want to pick this up again on Friday?"

"Kinda busy, how about Sunday?" asked Yami.

"Deal," said the alien, pushing the button and freeing the restraints on everyone, and with a murmered thanks and chat from everyone, they headed out to change as if it was just another ordinary day at Gym Class.

**PERIOD FOUR: FRENCH  
****Genre Switched to: Documentary**

"Here we are in a common French Class in Domino City," said the narrator, standing on the side as everyone scratched their pens and stuff while copying notes on the board. "Here we now see a common male of this particular species, whom I shall name Tingles-"

"Uh, it's Yugi," said Yugi to the narrator.

"Tingles is a very small, runty member of this particular species, which can grow around six feet tall for full grown males," said the narrator. "Consequently, he shall have a very hard time finding a mate, as well as being socially rejected by all around him."

"Yami will kill you for that…" said Yugi, already making mental plans to ask Yami to beat him up after school.

"Yeah, whatever Tingles," said the narrator, walking to the front of the room. "Here we see a full grown male of the species, who I shall name Fauntleroy-"

"Who invited him?" asked Joey, pointing to the narrator. "And my name is Joey stupid."

"Wheeler, what the heck are you doing in my chair?" asked Seto acidly at Joey, who was sitting in his seat.

"Cause Mademoiselle Marsol is in today, and she's the hottest substitute teacher ever!" said Joey. "So I need front row today!"

"Go back to your own seat, Stupid Mutt," said Seto.

"Here we have another male, I have named him Bluesy, this time enraged that Fauntleroy has invaded his territory," said the narrator. "He makes a vocal challenge to Fauntleroy, but it seems Fauntleroy is refusing to leave."

"Go away!" Seto said to the narrator. "And you too Mutt!"

"Aw, come on!" Joey said. "You have no soul or feelings, so I get dibs before you!"

"That does it," said Seto.

"And so the two males are locked in a life and death struggle over territory!" said the narrator. "It seems that Bluesy has Fauntleroy in a stranglehold, but Fauntleroy somehow managed to break free, and starts to try to beat the tobacco juice out of Bluesy, but Bluesy recovers and-"

"Mr. Kaiba, please stop trying to strangle Mr. Wheeler, and Mr. Wheeler, please go back to your seat," said Mademoiselle Marsol, who was indeed quite pretty, think, tall, and with flowing red hair.

"I'll get you Kaiba…" said Joey, stalking back to his chair.

"Yeah, dream on Mutt," Seto said.

"And so Fauntleroy willingly back down from the fight, thus living to see another day," said the narrator. "But now, he spots an eligible bachelorette, whom I shall name Snuggles-"

"GO AWAY!" everyone screamed.

"Here we see a female of this species, whom I shall name Missy Wibbles," said the narrator, walking back to Tea's desk. "As you can see, she is generally a peaceful, calm member of her species, and consequently, not very interesting to the violent nature of most documentaries-"

"That could change," said Tea, reaching into her bag to pull out a stun gun.

"I'm passing out your tests," said Mademoiselle Marsol, walking up and down all the aisles. "Joey, I'm afraid your teacher wants you to take yours over."

"Seeing his chance, Fauntleroy begins to court Snuggles," said the narrator.

"I'd make up a test for you any day baby," said Joey. "And I'd do a few other things for you too…dinner…movie…a trip to the moon…"

"Snuggles rejects the poor male's proposal, and proceeds to beat him like a bongo drum," said the narrator. "She is now pulling out what looks like the classic Full Nelson, and is now throwing Fauntleroy's body into the dust, and trampling him with a spiked heel-"

Just then, Yami got sick and tired of this narration, so he took over control of Yugi's body, grabbed the narrator by the back of the collar, and hurled him out the window at the speed of sound. He was thrown at least a hundred feet away from the school building, landing headlong into the principal's car, setting off the car alarm.

"Let's…move on…shall we?" said the narrator, pulling his body out of the strewn wreckage of the car.

**PERIOD FOUR: GLOBAL HISTORY  
****Genre Switched to: Angst**

"Alright class," said the dusty, old, and nauseatingly boring teacher, Mr. Frindle. "Today you shall be presenting you're reports on actually real dead people. I hope you all came well prepared…"

Tea sighed in frustration, knowing that this was doomed to be a very long class. Why, just look at her actually real dead person, Bob Bobby Bill, writer of _The Ten Treatises on Mashed Potatoes. _She spent hours online trying to find something worth presenting to the class, and she found…nothing.

Except that he had a horrible disease that made him prone to getting rashes in very uncomfortable places, but who wants to know that?

"Our first presentation will be by Tristan Taylor," said Mr. Frindle, as Tristan awkwardly walked up to the front of the room. "He shall be presenting on Freddy Butt-Butt, the inventor of the Cotton Gin."

"Wasn't that Ellie Whitney?" asked Ryo from the back.

"Did I say the Cotton Gin?" said Mr. Frindle. "I meant the machine that twirls the little plastic end on the ends of shoelaces. Please, go on Mr. Taylor."

"Yes, thank you Mr. Frindle," said Tristan. "And thank you too…everyone…who's forced to listen to this report even though you and I both know that nothing interesting will ever come from it…I really try…my best…"

There was silence for a moment.

"I'm going to be honest with all of you," said Tristan, tears starting to bloom in his eyes. "I've been going through a really tough time lately…you see, every day…I realize just how much I'm pushed aside…as a character…even though I'm supposed to…to be a main character, you know-"

Tristan finally stopped talking and sank to the floor, on hands an knees, a strangled sob echoing from his throat, as he continued to try to choke on.

"I don't even know how I can keep going on like this!" he said, his voice quivering with insecurity. "I wake up in the morning with nothing to look foreword to every day, and I go to bed feeling that nothing has made my day special…it's just one thing after another…and no one cares….NO ONE BLOODY CARES!"

"I feel for you man!" screamed Ryo from the back row.

"Me two!" screamed Miho, a very obscure Yu-Gi-Oh character.

"I never knew!" cried Joey, who also had tears in his eyes.

Tea was starting to freak out. Something was terribly wrong. Tristan was having an emotional breakdown, Joey was crying, and so was the boring old teacher.

"It's the end…" said Tristan, pulling out a ballpoint pen from his shirt pocket, and turned it inward, aiming at his chest. "IT'S THE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!"

Then, he stabbed himself with it, and he got a really nasty ink stain in his uniform.

"TRISTAN!" screamed Joey, running up to his fallen friend's side. "WHY? WHY! YOU WERE TOO YOU TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

"I'm not really…dead…" said Tristan weakly.

The bell rang, and Tea left the room before this entire scene got even more pathetic than it already was.

"Now wasn't that fun?" asked the narrator as Tea walked by, sitting in a pot of boiling water as a bunch of monster-looking animals chopped carrots and tossed them into the water, all rubbing their tummies and smacking their lips as they continued to dump vegetables, potatoes, salt, and pepper into the slowly cooking pot with the narrator in it. "Now, let's have a spot of lunch, shall we?"

**PERIOD FIVE: LUNCH  
****Genre Switched to: Horror**

"Aw crud, I thought we just had cardboard and cheese," said Joey, as indeed, the gang now had to suffer the most horrible lunch food ever created, grilled cheese, but the bread was so unedible, the cheese was so rock-hard, it was dubbed 'cardboard and cheese' by the general population of students.

"Come on…it's not that bad…" Yugi said pathetically, picking up his sandwich.

"Yes it is," said Tea, spitting out a particularly nasty piece of it, which tasted like a dead frog had been fried into that particular sandwich.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed one student at the other end of the room, as for some reason, screaming in agony, he was dragged under his lunchroom table, and with a bunch of munching sounds, completely disappeared, his screams slowly silenced to nothing.

After a while, the students began talking again, not caring that one of their number's inexplicably disappeared.

"That was weird," said Tea. "I wonder what happened to th-uh…why does my sandwich have eyes?"

Sure enough, a pair of eyes was slowly poking up at Tea on long, eye-stalk things, making it look more hideous than it started, if that was physically possible.

"Why does mine have jaws?" asked Yugi, as his sandwich started opening and shutting his jaws around the cheese part between the two slices of bread, exposing terrible, yellowed teeth.

"Why is mine biting my arm?" asked Tristan, after having sufficiently recovered from his ink based injury, only to have a sandwich with eyes and teeth biting into his elbow, growling at him.

"THE GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES ARE ALIVE!" screamed Joey at the top of his lungs, just as his jumped up and attempted to bite out his jugular. At that moment, all the sandwiches knew that their cover was blown. With that, the all attacked the students, and amidst roars and screams, while bits of grilled cheese was thrown every which way in the melee.

"Hey Glades, what recipe did you use for the grilled cheese?" asked a lunch lady.

"I got it out of that new cook book Darlene brought in," said another lunch lady, chopping some pale, dead looking vegetable.

"That voodoo book with all the weird carvings and spells and stuff to summon familiars of Hades himself?" asked the first lunch ladie.

"Oh…oops…" said the second.

"Harriet, tell the kids not to eat the soup of the day," called a lunch lady from the kitchen, as an ominous roar sounded from it.

**PERIOD SIX: COMPUTERS  
****Genre Switched to: Fantasy**

"Ah, nothin' like a quiet computer class to calm your nerves," said Joey happily, sufficiently restoring normal blood flow to his entire body after the battle with the grilled cheese sandwiches of doom. He opened the computer room door, not expecting anything to be different when he came in, but as usual, nothing made sense that particular day.

He found himself in a mystical, enchanted forest, filled with all kinds of oddly-colored animals, and trees that touched the sky, which was very odd, because Joey swore that only three seconds ago, he was indoors in a city on the second floor of a building.

"Oh great warrior!" said a four inch fairy thing, flying up to Joey, which looked more like a flower than a living thing, with her flower petal dress, long, silver hair, and startling green eyes. "You must help us! The great princess of our land, Princess Lillia, has been kidnapped by an evil and monstrous creature, and we have waited a long time for someone to come out of nowhere to kick it's arse!"

"I do have the right room, right?" said Joey, looking at the room number outside the door.

"Did I mention that she will fantastically reward anyone who rescues her?" said the fairy.

"I'M IN!" said Joey enthusiastically.

---ooo---

"There it is!" squeaked the fairy in horror, pointing to a small clearing, after leading him through the forest. "The most terrible beast ever to be seen in the land, with the strength of a thousand tigers, keen senses of a thousand eagles, and the sheer rage of a thousand angry things!"

There in the clearing was a thin, blonde, pink dressed, sleeping princess by a tree, looking like she had been knocked out of her senses, and not far from that, a small, orange kitten, licking itself happily.

"Oh, you're kidding," said Joey. "Whatever. Fat load of treasure, here I come!

With that, he rushed out of the clearing, picked up the kitty, threw it out of the clearing, and ran up straight to the unconscious princess.

"Don't worry princess!" said Joey, about to pick her up. "You're safe n-"

"Oh, thank you good sir for saving me from the dreaded beast!" said the kitten behind Joey, running back to him. "I just barely managed to knock the horrible monster out!"

"…what?" Joey asked.

"I'm Princess Lillia, heir to the throne of Kyarr," said the kitty.

"Wait, if you're the princess," Joey said, pointing to the orange kitten. "Then…that…means…"

Just behind him, the princess-looking girl pulled out a huge bazooka cannon and aimed it at Joey's head.

And that's why Joey ran screaming to Study Hall.

"Dance little monkey, dance," said the narrator, dancing around in a hula skirt and coconut bra as Joey ran past screaming. "And now, what we like to call, Study Hall."

**PERIOD SEVEN: STUDY HALL  
****Genre Switched to: Mystery**

"Stupid math homework," said Yugi, absentmindedly scribbling away at last night's homework, which consisted as such problems as "2+2" and "3-0". "Why does the teacher give us so many difficult problems?"

"Excuse me class," said the nameless Study Hall 'teacher'. "May I ask why there's a dead body lying on the floor?"

And sure enough, a dead body, the one of Suki Hatamasaki lay on the floor, covered in lots and lots of nasty paper cuts.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Yugi, running to the body. "Who could have killed Suki? WHAT KIND OF SICK MIND WOULD DO THIS?"

"Actually, I'm not dead," said Suki, getting up. "I just tripped.

"NO MATTER!" screamed Yugi, knocking Suki to the floor again. "No one gives lots of nasty paper cuts to people in my Study Hall! Using my detective skills, I shall solve this mystery! All I need is a small chunk of time to search for clues but overall doing nothing significant that's worth typing about!

_A LITTLE WHILE LATER_

"ALRIGHT! I have gathered all the evidence at the scene of the crime!" said Yugi, who was addressing to students who kept chatting on and ignoring his presence. "I SAID SHUT UP AND LISTEN, OR MY YAMI WILL SEND ALL OF YOUR MEDIOCRE MINDS TO THE SHADOW REALM!"

Everyone promptly shut up.

"Now then, after extensive research, painstaking analysis, and reading every Nancy Drew novel known to man, I have found out the culprit to poor Suki's untimely and unfortunate death…" said Yugi dramatically.

"Dude, I'm not dead!" Suki said.

"It was…_THE BUTLER_!" Yugi said dramatically, pointing to the maid, who for some unknown reason, existed in this fic. "Ah yes Ms. Maid, I will concede that you had a cunning trail of desseption, lies, and false clues to throw me off the track of the true killer!"

"I didn't do it," said the maid flatly.

"Ha! And may I say it again in bold print, **HA!**" said Yugi. "Your crime was nearly perfect, by scratching the body a zillion times with a Duel Monster's card, which on observation of residue, could only come from the Blue Eyes White Dragon, you left a brown hair behind that is an exact DNA match to Seto Kaiba's and you wrote 'Yugi you foob, I did this, and if you are stupid enough to think it was the butler, then you are a bigger loser than I expected, Seto Kaiba' with Seto Kaiba's exact signature to try to convince me it was Seto Kaiba! BUT I KNEW! I KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!"

"What proof do you have that _I _did it?" asked the maid.

"DON'T YOU QUESTION MY METHODS MURDERER!" Yugi said dramatically. "Police, take her away!"

"It wasn't me!" screamed the maid, as two police suddenly appeared and dragged her out of the classroom. "You idiot! This isn't legal! Let me go, you don't have a warrant!"

"What a loser," said Yugi. "I love it when the bad guy gets caught in the end! Hey Kaiba, what are you doing?"

"Nothing," said Seto, quickly hiding the bloodstained Blue Eyes White Dragon card behind his back which he was just about to stab Joey with.

**PERIOD EIGHT: MATH  
****Genre Switched to: Supernatural**

"Alright class, welcome back to Trigonometry," said the teacher, Mrs. Cruelandunusual. "I trust that all of you did your homework last night?"

All the students muttered 'yes' pathetically, Yugi looking nervously at the homework last night that he was supposed to finish, but the problems were blank due to the fact that he had to solve that mystery last period.

"Now then, pass your homework up, then I shall get to work destroying your tiny mi-I mean, teach you how to apply the Pythagoras Theorem to common algebraic equations," said the teacher.

Everyone in the class nodded dumbly.

With that, Mrs. Cruelandunusual began scribbling a huge, evil-looking symbol thing on the board, along the border scribbling all kinds of swirls and ancient text from some long forgotten civilization, smiling triumphantly when she finished.

"Alright class," she said. "Now I want all of you chant the following passage I translated from an ancient carving far in the recesses of the dark underworld of Domino City, and then do problems 7-14 on page 247 in your text books."

"Am I the only one who sees something terribly wrong with this picture?" asked Yugi, looking at the weird chant that the teacher handed out.

"Yeah," said Joey. "Since when did we get text books?"

"We've had them for nearly seven months now Joey," said Yugi, as he and Joey were the only ones of the gang who were put in this particular class.

"Oh…" said Joey awkwardly, as Yugi pulled out his textbook. "Okay, lets have a look at this weird chant thing. 'Gone forever are the times of light, doomed are the ones of surface blood, all hail the impending overloard, the dreaded mistress Aeo'sefyiud'. Wow, pretty lame."

However, as more people awkwardly muttered the chant, suddenly, from the middle of the room, a huge, black spiral started to appear, far from anyone's desk, not sucking anyone in or anything but slowly growing bigger and bigger by the second, almost growing and feeding off that silly chant.

"YES!" screamed Mrs. Cruelandunusual. "At last! Now, the dread mistress Aeo'sefyiud shall have enough souls by consuming this entire classroom of healthy, young ones! Soon, she will have the power to rise from the deep reassesses of the dark, sinister caverns of Domino City, rising from the grave to become the ruler of the world of all mortals! THE RESURECTION SHALL BE COMPLETE! MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

That's when some student, fed up with all the insanity, walked up and erased all of the weird symbols and chant things off the chalkboard.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Mrs. Cruelandunusual. "MY BONES! THEY ARE TURNING TO DUST! NOOOO!"

But before she could say another thing, she slowly began to vanish, turning into nothing but a puff of smoke, floating on the wind and out of the school.

"Does this mean no homework tonight?" asked Joey. Just then, the bell rang, and everyone went to their next class.

"Ah yes, truly horrifying, don't you agree?" said the narrator, in a pink, sequin mini dress and strapped high heals. "Now, we've saved the worst for last! Ladies and gentlemen…ROMANCE!"

**PERIOD NINE: HEALTH CLASS  
****Genre Switched to: Romance**

_Dear Tea, _Yugi thought quietly to himself, writing his thoughts down on paper when he was really supposed to be copying down the five stages of grief and an example of each, _You are by far the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. I would do anything to be a good enough man to be your boyfriend. I have had a crush on you forever, and now I'm coming out. Tea…will you let me take you out for dinner this Friday? Love, love love love, Yugi._

"Psst…Joey, can you pass this note up to Tea?" asked Yugi, who was third down in his column, Joey was second, and Tea was first.

"Sure thing Yug!" said Joey. "Any…time…"

However, do to a nasty twist of fate, Joey happened to look up in the front of room, and fell in love with the first thing he saw…a chalkboard.

"I LOVE YOU!" he screamed, jumping out of his chair, and dropping the note on the floor, running up the to the chalkboard, and threw his entire body on it, a bunch of little hearts floating all around his head.

_Day Fourty Seven _wrote Seto in his log. _The fools of Domino still haven't found out that I am actually a spy for the obscure European Country of Katsufracmeria, and I am just about to pass over vital information of this countries cabbage production, and I shall be hailed…as a…hero…_

Just then, he for some unknown reason, since Serenity was not in this fic-

"YAY!" screamed Serenity, sitting in a beach chair surround by hot, tan, muscular men.

-he fell madly in love with Tea.

"I LOVE YOU!" he screamed, running up to Tea's desk.

"I LOVE YOU TOO!" she screamed back.

"HEY! I LOVED HER FIRST!" screamed Yugi, also running up to Tea's desk.

"AND I LOVE YOU TOO!" said Tea.

Joey was still kissing the chalkboard.

"Well I can't go out with you both," said Tea. "It's morally wrong…and expensive. So I suppose by the laws of romance, bad fan fics, and bad romantic stuff, you will both…have to duel to the death for it."

"ALRIGHT!" said Yugi, changing to Yami Yugi. "I SUMMON MAGICIAN OF DARK SCARYNESS!" (Special Effect: Kicks Seto's butt, no matter how much he should win, by, suddenly have some evil guy from you past come, destroy stuff, knock of Seto, yatta yatta yatta)

"I SUMMON THE BLUE EYES WICKED COOL SPIRIT DRAGON!" said Seto (Special Effect: Destroys all monster cards on the field, especially Egyptian God Cards, and give an extra ten billion attack points if owner is a screaming loony).

"I SUMMON GUY WHO BEATS UP DUELIST!" said Tristan from the other side of the room, summoning a huge, mugger looking guy, which looked so terrifying, that the two monsters the other two summoned ran away in fear, and the mugger-lloking monster began beating up Yugi and Seto.

"Now there are no rivals to our love!" said Tristan, walking up to Tea.

"I'm sorry, I only date main characters," said Tea.

"Did I mention I was rich?" said Tristan, as Yugi and Seto began crying for their mommies while getting pummeled.

"Wanna get married in Vegas and divorce the next day so I can get all of your money?" asked Tea.

"Sure!" said Tristan, grabbing her hand as the two skipped off to Vegas, past the narrator.

"Well, that was all very fun, wasn't it?" asked the narrator. "That's all the time we have for one shots today, so until next time-"

Just then, a sixteen ton weight landed on him, but instead of 'Sixteen Tons' printed on the front, what was printed was-

**THE END!**


End file.
